Wow... just, wow. That's the first thing I would think to say if you were to ask me to summarize these past... um... 5 days (had to think there for a second). First of all, it feels like it's been two weeks. I didn't realize at all that I was going to be in such sensory overload!
Saturday was just orientation, but we had a period of training and a lot of it was getting to know our group. We received our Galatians study books which are HUGE and very in-depth. Each day we have an assignment which is in the book, and it is supposed to essentially teach us how to effectively study and interpret scripture. (Prayer request #1: that I would stay on top of that, and all the other things on my plate. There are so many things to get distracted by here as it is, and other things I need to be doing are keeping up with this blog, continuing to raise support and sending thank-yous, spending my own time with the Lord, doing bible study with my action group, and learning songs for my job.) I also talked with some people, and I will be helping to lead worship with the band! I'm so thankful that God is allowing me to use my gifts in so many ways on this trip. Worship team practiced a bit Sunday night, and I'm really excited to learn a lot of new (to me) worship songs.
Sunday we didn't go to our new church here yet because I don't think the church is ready for a whole nother 100 students and staff yet (or some reason like that?) so we did a devotional in the morning and then had more training, this time on how to use the Knowing God Personally (KGP) booklet. It was a great "gospel-refresher" for us, as well. THEN after lunch we broke into groups and went on a scavenger hunt around the city! It was suuuuuper fun and did help a bit to get to know a couple areas. We had four or five "zones" that we could have visited, and accumulated points by doing the objectives in each zone. Other ways to accumulate points were to stop in any Starbucks that we came across and get the address and the barista's name and favorite drink, and also picking up applications from different stores and restaurants around the city. It was so fun because, if you know me well, you know that I love talking to people I don't know! Haha. But the cool thing is I got to explain to several people what we were doing in the city, since they were always confused as to why I was picking up applications when I already had a job. Anyways so then Sunday night was just more getting to know each other.
Monday was the first day that many of the students on project went to go out and try to find jobs. (Prayer request #2: Please be praying for all the students here who need jobs, and if you have any connections in Chitown - throwing that out there - it'd be great if you could let me know so maybe someone from project could get hired. They are all trying so hard to really trust God in this process, but most have come home feeling kind of defeated each of the past two days. It makes me sooo thankful that God has already provided a job for me! But I really feel for all the students who still are very uncertain of what their summer is going to look like.) So yeah since I already have a job, I basically had the daytime hours off. I went running with two girls from project at 8am. They have both been training for a mini marathon, so ehmm... it was a challenge. My pace is soo much slower than theirs since I haven't been running regularly this past year and I dropped behind after about a mile of their quick pace. We were planning on running 4 miles, and it was cool the whole time as long as I could still see them up until the last like, half a mile. Thennnn... we got separated. No worries though, I'm so used to getting lost that I didn't even panic. lol. It might have taken me an extra half an hour and probably another two miles to get back but HEY it was a wonderful workout. Woot GOTTA love the adventures that happen to me. I also had to buy some black pants, shoes and socks for work on Spirit of Chicago, so I spent the day out shopping with another girl in order to find what I needed. It wasn't too easy, and while I was out I succeeded in accidentally changing in a men's dressing room and making a fool of myself at the bank (the closest Chase to where we were was Chase Tower and they are verrrry official in there, let me tell ya.) BUT I eventually found some attire that would suffice for my training which was....
Tuesday! Aka, today.
This morning I got to sleep in a bit more than usual which was great. I woke up around 8:30 and got to talk to Ali on the phone for a bit about her cross country conditioning which started this week, and then rolled out of bed around 8:50. My training on the boat was at 1pm, so I had some time to either workout or do some of my Galatians study, or just spend some time with the Lord in general. I also had to paint the shoes that I ended up buying. Part of them were white, and I am supposed to wear black from the waist down. I talked to my roommates for a bit, meanwhile deciding to go work out. But while I was talking to my roommates I was telling them how much I had been feeling wacky during this transition, and how frustrated I was because I came here to really be growing and spending time with the Lord and learning more about how to share my faith, but I was suddenly feeling farther from Him than I had in a long time. And mannn is it true. I can already tell God is challenging me so much on this project... but in ways I did not expect whatsoever. Sarah pointed out that as much as I love working out, I should probably spend the extra time I had this morning in the word and prepping myself for the day, especially since it was my first day of work. I thought that was a very, very good point and decided not to work out after all.
I did have to paint my shoes before I did anything though, and Ashley volunteered to help me. While we painted we talked, and I told her more about how I just been not feeling like myself physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. (By the way EVERYONE I have talked to has been feeling strange. I really want to know how just moving to a new place with a new social setting can effect a person so much psychologically that it effects even how you feel physically.) I explained how annoyed and nervous it made me, since if I can't be myself I just feel kind of like my whole world is undefined. I am usually so outgoing and I'm pretty sure I haven't cared much what anyone thought of me for three years now as I've matured. But coming here, I suddenly was hyper aware of myself and started being not shy but forced-outgoing... as in sometimes I have absolutely nothing to say because the inside of me is being shy, but I hate not having anything to say so I just SAY SOMETHING and then it's awkward. (Dear people who may or may not be reading this blog... I think you are going to learn a lot about me as I try and share this trip, and I hope you don't mind that I plan tell it like it really, truly is and what I'm going through instead of leaving my "mask" up. I'm a flawed human being and well, there's a reason I need a savior!) But as we talked and she told her own stories she helped me realize what I believe God was trying to show me through this weird time. I had totally and I think always have placed so much of my trust in myself and who I am defined as in society. I'm always so independent. I had been trying so hard to get back to "myself" by my own means instead of just placing my trust in God about being here. It's been a really complicated emotion, but as I talked to Ashley I realized that God was very clearly saying.. you are still a daughter of the King. Let that be your identity... and who even cares what anyone else thinks of you. Who you are in social groups does not matter, because I'm going to use you for my glory regardless of your personality. And it suddenly hit me full force that any power or influence I have is totally and completely not from me. The past few days I had felt like this blubbering idiot, and it was easy to feel queasy and unsettled the whole time because there was nothing I could do in my own power to bring me back to normal. But it's not me in the first place. If I do any good thing, that comes from the Holy Spirit. I had head knowledge about all of that, but I really had to come face to face with it in order to understand. And I'll probably forget again, but this is a start.
I started to go through this devotional that we got on Sunday night, and it happened to be - of course - about being filled with the Holy Spirit, and how we are only powerful through God and not ourselves. I really felt a lot of peace after going through that, and since then I have actually almost completely stopped being so self conscious. It's like God made his point, and let me feel good again. Crazy crazy... I can't even convey how much I feel like I'm in a totally different microcosm here. Maybe as we get into a routine, time will start to feel like it's moving normally again.
OKAY so all that and I still haven't told about my training on the boat. I am also kinda sleepy so I'm gonna keep it short. It's not all too hard to explain, anyways. I got on the boat and they gave me a shirt to change into, and I met the girl who I would be following around. Her name was Emily and she reminded me of a mixture of my friend Hillary and a shorter Zooey Dechanel. She was kind of sarcastic but fun-loving and funny. She doesn't totally love the job on the ship, but she's been there a year and I'm sure it could get old. She is gonna be a junior at Columbia next year so she's probably only a year or so older than me. I was surprised to meet so many other people my age on the boat. I'm not sure why, but I thought everyone would be like, performers who had this waitstaff job on the side.
Anyways so she walked me though a lot of norms and procedures.. it's all very interesting by the way. I've never worked in dining or with food except for at Lucas Oil and I was making food there. This is so different because you are interacting with the people. Right away they put me to work... helping to set up for the next cruise which was another "kid cruise". Apparently there are "kid cruises" and "grown-up cruises", as comically phrased by Emily. The kid cruises are much more hectic and require a lot more running around. The grown-up cruises are a lot more lax because they don't get up and crowd and yell, ect. Plus they are in much smaller groups. Today was a graduation party for a ton of 2011 seniors and their parents. I did a lot of filling cups, hauling ice, managing the buffet table, cleaning up as the cruise went on, folding napkins, and taking plates so I could scrape all the extra food off and give the plates to the guy washing dishes. I can't even tell you how glad I am that I am not a dishwasher. Then after the cruise was over we cleaned everything else up and Emily and I scrubbed all the scuff marks off the dance floor.
Hahahah. So not as glamourous as you were thinking it'd be? So different from my office job this past year! I don't sing at all yet, because rehearsals start next week. Right now they're just getting us newbies used to working the boat. Even though it's tiring and hard work, I think it's a great job for me. I don't really mind doing dirty work like that, and all the people who work there are so fun and nice, even if a little bitter about working on the boat lol. I hope I don't get sucked into that at all. But yeah they sing and joke around while we set up, and I feel like I already fit in. I have another training shift on Saturday (a double, aka two cruises), and I feel like I have a better feel for what to expect now.
So okay that's a pretty thorough updation.. sorry it's a bit long. I just kind of... typed the way I'd tell the story. I'm gonna try to be more concise in future posts.
Miss you all... send me silly stuff if you get the hankerin'!
410 S. Morgan St. Apartment 526 Chicago, IL 60607.
Til later,
Jordan
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